I am very rigid. I am determined to live in a beautiful world and to see beauty in all. I am determined to understand the opposing side, no matter what. It’s not that I don’t see the dust and the grime on the mirror. I do see it, but I have the knack of seeing beyond. Such is my world. So, when it happened I was not surprised. In the year 2003, my father-in-law had passed away. All the endless endeavours to save him failed. It hit all of us but because the flag of faith lay foremost on my shoulder - it hit me the most! And, so the depression happened.
Ever since my schooldays, people around me kept telling me ‘Learn to say NO’ and no matter how much I tried, I somehow couldn’t. I felt guilty every single time I said NO to someone for anything. I didn’t know how badly that changed my personality and gradually made me into a ‘people-pleaser’. Even though being a ‘people-pleaser’ is considered as a harmless quality, for me it did nothing but harm.
Pramathesh N. Borkotoky
For the last 7 years, I have been struggling with depression and I have been trying to relate various causes to it. Sometimes it is joblessness, sometimes it is the lack of money, sometimes feeling the pressure of my loved ones when I am needlessly trying to make everyone happy at the same time, sometimes it is my love life or rather the lack of it, sometimes it is my job pressure, sometimes it is my disagreements with my boss. I have always tried to get over my depression by trying to get out of the situation sometimes by solving the problems and sometimes by running away from the problem. You may think my behaviour as cowardly but I have no choice. I have learnt to live with the idea that it is more important to survive than winning over every problem. Sometimes it is alright to lose. It is only important for you to not lose yourself.
*The writer of this article has requested to keep her story confidential. This beautiful lady is an aspiring model and actress living in Mumbai.
When not to take stress is your biggest STRESS. That time when happiness is at the peak in your life n everything goes against you in just a blink. It will sound too dramatic but every drama has sometime or the other, been a part of my life. When there isn’t a single thing to crib about, because there are MANY. Being a woman, have u ever imagined waking up someday and finding a patch of your hair missing from your head? It must be your worst nightmare right? But it happened to me overnight, and the worst part is, I’m an actress whose career depends on it!